7 Habits of Happy Kids

7 Habits of Happy Kids

The main idea is taken from the English book The 7 Habits of Happy Kids.

Finding the Children’s Engagement

1. Be proactive

As soon as the screen is closed, if the children sing “I’m getting bored”, you can give them an idea to do something different. Like painting stones, painting a glass vase that you can wash and re-paint after a few days, making paper boats, building bubbles, reading a book, jumping, cycling … Everything is included. It is not the duty of the parents to entertain the children round the clock and I have seen regular mothers feeling guilty and embarrassed that the children are getting bored as if it is the fault of the parents. no way! Parents can come up with ideas, but they can be left astray and lose the right path.

  • Let the child know that he is getting bored, so it is his job to get rid of this boredom.
  • Teach them to take responsibility. Bored even then, happy, unhappy even then. The responsibility for all this falls on them somewhere. Let the children know now that it is not right to blame others for their feelings and problems that brother is not playing, Mama is busy and I am poor!
  • Take charge of your life and stop thinking of yourself as a victim.

So what do children do?

  • Do something good for someone. Such as thank you letter for postman, card for aunt, care of plants, feeding birds
  • Do something you don’t like or have a fear in your heart. Like making new friends, raising hands in class, helping mama clean the bathroom
  • If you are in a bad mood, make it a habit to be completely silent. When you feel better, speak up. Teach children these manners for social media too. Never comment or post in anger. The same thing can be said in a good way later.
  • When you make a mistake, say sorry without saying. Don’t wait for it to be said.

2. Begin with the End in Mind

Children need to be taught to work from the beginning to the end. I got Eidi, I got money when I passed. what to do now? Do you have to spend all that? Do you have to collect all? What will happen if everyone spends? What is the benefit and what is the harm if you keep accumulating and do not spend? Write expenses, savings, and donations on three envelopes and help children make decisions with the end in mind.

Talk about wasting of time as rubbing of money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reading all the time? What if the games are spectacular and you don’t study and prepare for the test? Explain why it is important to look at the outcome.

For Muslims, the end must be in the right hand and the Day of Judgment must be in the right hand, so it is important to teach them to keep the end in mind.

So what do children do?

  • Set aside morning clothes, books, water bottles, bags, etc. at night.
  • Write three goals and hang them in front of you.
  • Think about what it’s like to grow up. Plan accordingly
  • Think of something that is not good and that has room for improvement. Start working on it. It can be anything like doing daily homework, brushing your teeth properly, listening to parents at first call.

3. Put the First things First

They often put their childish work behind them in the game, which makes it difficult for them later. Usually the choice of the subject of your choice is made first, whether it is sports or reading. It is important to guide the children from the beginning that important tasks must be done first, no matter how difficult they may seem. The latter difficulty can be avoided, the burden on the mind is immediately reduced.

So what do children do?

  • Take care of your first responsibility and important work first. Such as filling a water bottle and keeping it in the fridge, fixing the bed after waking up, meth or whatever the subject seems difficult to do first.
  • Get in the habit of doing the work that is a responsibility without discussion
  • Doing your work tomorrow without telling anyone, taking responsibility. So don’t procrastinate because we will do it when Mama says.
  • Now, the most difficult task in homework, to finish it first.
  • Any work that has been postponed for a long time, do it now. Like cleaning the drawers, like sitting next to grandma and talking. Like reading a book that has been around for a long time.

4. Think Win Win

Explain to children that life should not always revolve around “I”, nor should it always revolve around the happiness of others. Life is based on the principle of “we” instead of “I” and “you”. There is a middle ground that benefits everyone, i-e win-win condition. Here I am reminded of the Hajr-e-Aswad incident. All the chiefs want stones to be laid with their hands. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon Him) kept a Hajr-e-Aswad in a Shall. All the chiefs grab the corners and place the stone by Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon Him). This is a win-win condition! Find a solution that benefits everyone.

So what do children do?

  • Avoid any kind of complaint and runny form for a whole day. Set an hour target. The next hour after completing it. Then the next hour. Then another hour! So a whole day
  • The next time you have an argument or quarrel with someone, try to find a middle solution. Brother wants to play cricket. Want to play the game yourself. Do one thing together, then do another. Or play cricket first and then it will get night, later the game when it’s time to stay home.
  • Make a poster with three columns. Write “I want” on one and “Parents Want” on the other. Write Win-Win condition on the third column. Like: I want to play a game. Mom says study. Third column: Finish the work first and then play the game.

I would like to have my hair dyed. Mom says no. So get a color that is not too different from the color of the hair, but also fulfill the hobby.

5. Seek first to understand, than to be understood

Make the habit of listening more than speaking. There are very few people who know the manners of communication. Someone said my uncle is sick, he got cancer. The listener would start his story by listening to few thing, “Oh, I know how much you guys are in trouble.” My uncles were also diagnosed with cancer last year …

And then the story of Death, and the aftermath, is told. It’s the same with everything, please note. We just know how to talk, we don’t know how to communicate, in which listening is very important. Teach children from the beginning not to interrupt, and try to listen more than speaking. “Me too, I have too, mine too …” Try to be minimal.

So what do children do?

  • Spend an hour without talking at all. Read, make crafts but quietly.
  • Think about which person you enjoy talking to. The one who listens attentively to you and values ​​you. Think about what qualities make this person a good listener.
  • The next time someone feels sad, honestly tell them that I realize you are sad, upset because of something. You can talk to me if you want. Or offer your help too.

6. Synergize

Get children in the habit of teamwork. Help out your mom to clean up from the start, mow the lawn outside with dad. Let them know that working together is fun, quick, and rewarding. Allah also likes to work together, that is why praying in Jamat in the Masjid is so superior to praying alone.

So what do children do?

  • Instead of pointing out the faults of others, note their strengths.
  • Don’t think of yourself as a master of every art, don’t think of yourself as a loser, I don’t know anything. Keep an eye on your strengths and weaknesses.
  • What are the characteristics of a good team, think about it? And whenever there is teamwork, keep these qualities in mind and practice.
  • Why is a bad team called a bad team? These reasons should also be taken into account and avoided.
  • Work on a project with friends. Supposedly cleaning the neighborhood. Now share the work. One who has good social skills should talk to the people in the neighborhood, design a flyer that is faster in the computer, creative minded thing about what to write in a flyer. Thus teamwork should be done on the project.

7. Sharpen the saw

Moderation is very important in Islam. Do not exceed moderation even in worship. Love and devotion to the prophets should not be like that of the Jews and Christians who go beyond the limits. Every aspect of life requires moderation. Children are so involved in playing that they are not getting enough sleep. If they use a computer, they will not feel hungry or thirsty. This is wrong. Remember that body, heart, mind, and soul are like the four wheels of a car.

When one wheel is out of balance, the car of life will begin to wobble. Anything you exceed will affect the body, the heart, the mind, or the soul. Whether it’s waking up late at night, or using the screen unnecessarily, or extravagance, or stinginess, spending too much time with friends, or being confined at home and not liking people. You have to choose between the two extremes.

So what do children do?

Try to sleep on time for two consecutive nights. And then see what effect it has on mood, prayers, relationships, work.

Read a book for at least twenty minutes every day throughout the week. And reduce the screen time by at least twenty minutes.

Talk, meet, play with a person with whom you have been neglecting for a long time.

Spend time with nature. Whether it’s going to see the moon, somewhere in the greenery, somewhere near the water, and think about what I like to do. When you go to nature, make a conscious effort not to take pictures of it, nor to update any status. Spend time in nature only for your happiness and peace.

Originally Written by Nayar Taban

Translated by Babar Khan

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